I’ll be honest. I was trying to count exactly how many first dates I’ve ever had… I think it was ten. And they were all from 1985-1988. So yeah, it’s been a while.
Shifted in Seattle begins with a first date that goes wonderfully right, then horribly wrong. I polled my Facebook friends and fans about their disastrous first dates, and here’s what they had to say. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, but other times…it all ends with a Sasquatch.
First Dates Gone Wrong
OMG. So what made mine SO bad was I married the guy and it was the worst 15 years of my life! Be warned, if the date is bad… it’s a SIGN. A BIG sign. Ugh…- Anonymous #1
I was stood up twice in the same night — by the same guy. I also had a guy hand me a 5 page single spaced typed treatise on why women should pay their own way on a date. God, I’m glad I’m married. –Anonymous #2
A guy I had dated told me a friend of his would be perfect for me. So I went for drinks with both of them. They both got drunk. I had to drive home. Plus, the guy he thought I would like was wearing these weird blue jean with blocks of denim. I vowed I would never see him again. But I did. We were married 9 months later and had 33 years of (mostly) happy times until he passed suddenly on 2014. -Anonymous #3
Ok. So I went on a date with a guy that said, I’m leaving in a few weeks. ( we all know what that means) so I said well I’m leaving tomorrow. Nervous because I’d never done this before so quick I hit my friend with the car when she was getting out. He got to my house. Got butt naked and passed out. I called my friend in horror because he had a full bush. She talked me into trimming it down and waxing him. That was before I was an esthetician. He woke up screaming. With half a bush and darted out the door. And my best friend saw him a week later and was like… So you’re the one Precious got ahold of huh? – Not-so-Anonymous Precious
Blind date shows up to take me out to Cracker Barrel. He looked NOTHING like his photo and was very unattractive. He had Tourette’s syndrome and he rocked back and forth, grimacing and making grunting noises. He only talked about oysters the entire time- how to grow oysters, cook oysters, oyster recipes, etc… During the meal, his dentures fell out of his mouth! Then he made me pay for my own food. Then he went out to his car (where a box of wine was waiting on the floorboard) and he got drunk. Before he left, he said, “I just want you to know that in case a relationship develops between us, that I REALLY LIKE OYSTERS.” It was the most traumatizing date ever. LOL. I felt like I was in a Monty Python skit. –Anonymous #4
Sure… went to lunch once with a very nice man (blind date whose relative had been trying to set us up for a long time) and enjoyed listening to stories about his ex-wife for the entire afternoon. –Anonymous #5
We went to see “Hot Shots,” the most embarrassing, stupid spoof ever. Then, when he dropped me off, he pinned me against the door to force me to kiss him. Sorry, no. The whole date was a mistake, and he stalked me as I worked as a carhop at Sonic (where we met) and asked why I wasn’t returning his calls, after that. Yikes. –Anonymous #6
My worst date was a blind date. He showed up late to a group date, looked like he crawled out from under brush and talked about his ex the whole time. I ordered chicken, He left and stuck our hosts and me with the bill. We laughed about it was so bad. –Anonymous #7
I went to insomnia cinema to see her choice. The Hills Have Eyes (horrid). Like the worst movie ever. It was a sign! 30 years later and she still likes to pick the flick. They aren’t all duds but I’ve seen some cheeky, geeky, campy stuff! – My husband
What about you? Have you ever experienced a disastrous first date?
Read how it all started for Ruby and Ethan here: Shifted First Chapter
No one’s ever captured a Sasquatch.
Sasquatches have roamed the Pacific Northwest for centuries, hiding in the wilds of the northern territories and protected by the Lummi nation.
When Seattle author Ethan Lane’s secret is exposed after a first date with Ruby Parsons goes wonderfully right, then horribly wrong, he’s faced with betraying his clan or losing his only chance at true love and a normal life.
Sometimes love gets hairy.
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